Mood:
smellyNow Playing: 'Far Away Looks To Far Away' Populace of village wait for construction of luxury homes.
Topic: VCSY
Tonight in our BBP studios we have noted explorer and professor of anthropology Colonel Smithely Worthington Crumweld the third Earl of Dowdy, Duke of Cobbin and Fourth Godson to the Archbishop Pinkel T. Piddling of Counting Alworth.
Colonel, welcome.
brack... ahem... phfsstt... you're quite welcome, my dear.
Professor, perhaps you can relate to our viewers what exciting times you've had living, as it were, amongst the heathen Wanga Pangy of Catalina. I hear they are a fiercely competitive tribe.
Ah... blubboom... living, as it were is quite the description as these foolish heathen have no respect for decent deliberation and doting. One must make decisions very carefully, especially in the jungle...
I see. It must have been a...
THERE WE WERE... poised... to enter... our portered canoes to risk the treacherous passage down Goneanddoneit Creak which empties out into Lake Wwwhadafkhapend and we were mesmerized by the hypnotic ritual dance of the Getdafkowtahe tribe of tree-dwellers taking over the general commerce on the piece of land known as the 'Mooka maka wika wonka shempa groopa pooh' or 'Place where bufallo butt get stuck in twin tree fork'.
Charming name, Professor, but I was wonder...
THE CULTISTS... as they must be called for they are fanatically dedicated to their homeland and property having endured many incursions and insults over the years... are solidly socialized under a loose system of drums and smoke signals which allow them to stay informed on a community wide basis. Their knowledge of ancient events and names and stories is fanatcial, their celebration of key ancestral milestones is keen and enthuriastic and their vision for a utopia filled with pineapple breezes and fiberglass boats ... these people with primitive social skills and quick wits and even quicker recall of facts and historical events are usually quite mellow and calm.
I see... wha....
BUT, WHEN ONE COMES THROUGH their areas making so much as to give a "smell your stink" type of expression or as the Pangy call it 'pucka wookie noka noogoo ninka wachit etdomorow' the tribe erupts like a nest of nak-nak fleas infesting the entire hill with gnawing commentary and provocative jabs. A nest the size of this on that dead bull carcass over there is big enough to infest every gnawing doubt in any crevice within a hundred miles of here... you see.
Ahhh.. THEY ARE PRONE!... to head shrinking and many have found themselves witlessly defending less and less of their original intellectual standing and self-respect in hopes of escaping the confrontation with a shred of previous form or favor. Defense of a posting position quickly becomes a fight for social survival and dignity once in the jaws of the ever vigilant and noble Getdafkowtahe.
How nice... wel....
THE DANCE is called 'wha nook nook no maka poka binga wanga wook' better known in this country as the 'blue suede booboo' and is performed whenever territorial disputes are brought foreward. The dances themselves may be highly unique but usually result in impassioned posturing, highly accurate and effective spear throwing, often degenerating to mudslinging and perhaps scatological displays of varying repugnance but all with a strategy from the socialized mass and watchers ready to steer the mass in the direction of the tenderest meats... uhhh... as it were... and the...
FASCINATING, PROFESSOR. I'm sure we all hope you will be returning to that lovely land soon...
Well, my dear, I am a bit too old for the rigours of the trail, as it were, but I do like to shake a nook nook here and there and I am wont to pick up a handful of mud or other pulpy mass to aid whatever defense I might need press against an enemy's thrusts, so to speak. But, I can assure you, in the end, you will find that scoundrel's head will be far smaller than my own... which I might say, is quite promin...
THANK YOU Professor and for the BBP... good night.
